We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
