You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
my poor anus
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
