His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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