im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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