i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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