Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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