actually, I'm a sock model
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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