Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
