We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
