We won't sleep together?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
