I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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