I think I am morally bankrupt
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
