im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
