The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
