you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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