i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
