this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
