what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
