nut hugger
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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