Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
