That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
