My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
