Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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