They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
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