Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
