bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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