remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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