But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
