It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
