riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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