but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
