Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
