At least make sure they are 18
Why
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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