ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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