my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
