I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
