there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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