So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
