I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
