addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
