I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize