wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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