how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
