It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
