I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I will be naked everywhere
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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