I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize