They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
