Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
