did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
