You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just found puke in my bra..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
