she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And then my night got REAL pukey
Randomize
