brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
