she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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