so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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