There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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