is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
