i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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