White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
