I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
