Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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