just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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