I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
